No Talent Ass Clown---or, why MySpace is stupid

So, I am probably totally offending and alienating about 90% of my friends right now, but you guys can always take comfort in calling my a hypocrite if that makes you feel better.

What is the deal with this myspace phenomenon? It just seems so strange to me. Like some guy named Tom creating a little template for people to post all their most admirable qualities (which are mostly wishful thinking anyway) and flattering pictures to flaunt to the world is that big of a deal.

“But, it’s about the community of people on there that makes it so special” nameless quoted says.

Ya, well how about that. How about you type up the most flattering paragraph about yourself possible, exaggerating all the positive details so that more people will find you interesting and therefore send you a personally validating “friend request”. How about you add a few really sexy pictures of yourself to rope in further compliments like “you’re hot--Can I be your friend?” to make you truly feel like an attractive, worthy person. And then you can sit all alone in your cold, dark apartment, cruising around on other people’s sites enjoying those hot photos, while trying to find someone really interesting to befriend.

“I like to find my old high school buddies”

Ya, who wouldn’t? Why not sit around by yourself searching for a bunch of half assed high school friends that you’re just dying to make contact with. “Ya, what did ever happen to that hot high school cheerleader I always had a crush on? Oh, here she is! Let me check out the photos she’s posted of herself trying to hide the extra 30 pounds she put on since those days while still looking good doing a beer bong at one of those post college parties”. Yep, awesome.

Sitting around by yourself on a computer all night trying to strike up a relationship with a bunch of meaningless people that exist in some sort of virtual world seems really contradictory to the whole community thing. (wait a second, is that what I’m doing right now…?)

Not to mention, all those hip, arty, vegan kids (ok, maybe that's just what my "friends" consist of) are all on there being so cool and trying to get a musician to date them by touting the values of 'screw the man and just make love', and then they are totally cool with signing up for a program supported completely by massive corporate advertising. You guys are dumb. Besides, who really wants Ipod ads and Jessica Simpson ads all over their website?

Geez, at least I’m not trying to run a dating ad with my blog. Ya, that’s what myspace is. One big online dating forum for people who miss high school. Stupid.

(please don’t remind me when my “last myspace login” date was, or I might write something really mean about you—or ask you on a date via “friend request”.)

Man, I know a lot of people that are gonna be really pissed off at me now….