Wednesday, March 14, 2007

O.M.G.

So, being the fancy wine bar mistress that I am, my boss picked little old me to accompany him to "Taste Walla Walla", a winery tasting event showcasing over 50 wineries and wine makers from Walla Walla. Oh yes. All free. Did I also mention it was on the top of the Columbia Tower downtown? Yes that would be the 76th floor, in the private members only club! I forgot my camera (can you believe that?), but swiped some internet pics of the fantastic view!

View from the top!




View from the bottom!



View from...my private jet?



Ooh La La, the entry way! At the top of that staircase awaits over 50 wine makers all waiting to give me free glasses of all their different kinds of over-priced wines, lots of free exotic cheeses and fruits, and a bunch of fancy glass bottled Italian water. Yes, I am the princess, thank you. Plus, they all assume I'm someone important who may be interested in selling their wines (well, I guess I am, really), so they crown you with all kinds of princessy-ness.



It's the private lounge, yummy.



The main area for tasting.


And did I tell you about the bathrooms? The private rooms with floor to ceiling windows, exotic decor, and couches? Oh yes, peeing in front of the whole city is thrilling. And to top that off, my tipsy boss made me steal our glasses as keepsakes.

The only drawback to this fantastic time was how you could feel the building swaying in the wind. Which is a bit scary after a few glasses of wine, looking down over the edge, I must say.


Unfortunately, I had to take very tiny tastes of the hundreds of wines, because I actually had to go back and serve wine, but I went back much more a wine snob, I assure you.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Received: 1 preparation outline for dodgeball playoffs. From: The CAPTAIN

A. Items to bring:
1 - Gym Shorts.
2 - Team Shirt
3 - Wristband(s)
4 - Headband/Bandanna
5 - Advil
6 - Water bottle

B. Pregame Mental Preparation
1 - Visualize your throws hitting knees, shins, and ankles.
2 - Visualize NOT throwing when the other team is all the way at their back line.
3 - Visualize throwing at people only after they are more than half-way to the center line.
4 - Visualize incoming throws you would want to catch (anything higher than thigh level and slow enough for you to feel comfortable catching it)
5 - Visualize incoming throws you want to dodge
6 - Visualize Victory

C. Pregame Physical Preparation
1 - No red meat for 24 hours prior to gametime
2 - No alcohol for 24 hours prior to gametime
3 - 1 quart of water the morning before, 2-4 before gametime
4 - 1 quart within 2 hours of gametime
5 - Powerbars, gatorade, anabolic steroids, HGH, whatever else you need. Remember, there's no drug testing in this league.
6 - Pregame stretching and throwing.

D. Pregame musical inspiration
1 - Nelly - #1
2 - Nelly - #1
3 - Nelly - #1
4 - Nelly - #1
5 - Nelly - #1

That should cover just about everything. This is it baby. The playoffs. Let's do it real big tonight and show people a level of dodgeball they have never SEEN!!! Its time to turn on that playoff switch and take our game up another notch.

-David

Saturday, March 03, 2007

R.I.P. Angelica, the once trusty Celica


Now that Angelica has been delivered to car heaven, or perhaps car hell (for her naughty and ill performance the last few months), I thought I would relate this nice story about her that I forgot to mention. I feel it really demonstrates my care for her.



"You know you need to clean your car out when...":

Setting
:
Early a.m., curbside Harambee, downtown Renton, unloading extensive array of backpacks from my car that hold: my computer, my workout gear, my purse, my lunch bags, and I'm sure some other junk too.

Characters:
Myself: holding a lot of stuff

Nicely tailored business man: cell phone earpiece, latte in one hand, briefcase in another, kindly look upon his face.

Angelica the Celica: Full of junk, and more junk, looking like she could use a serious washing


Dialogue:

Angelica: "Waaaaash meeee" (in a whisper)

Man: (Stops to survey me, struggling to get all of my bags out of my car and slung around my shoulders) "You look like you live in your car."

Me: (Ummmm..is he trying to make friendly banter along the street in the early morning? Or is he just being a total jerk, commenting on how filthy a person I must be while on his way back to his sparkly Mercedes? I'll pretend it's just a conversation starting joke because I'm so cute) "Uh, ha ha.....Ya, I uh, practically do. Ha."

Man: "Ya, I myself once went through hard times like those." (Pauses, thoughtfully, to think of a reason why I must be living such a hard life as a homeless girl). "Are you a student?"

Me: (Rather offended that I've just realized he thinks I'm homeless, and is about to offer me a dollar cause I'm a cute, young, homeless girl. He's not trying to make witty banter.) "Uh, no, I'm not a student."

Man: (Thoughtfully pensive, stroking his chin, pondering how much change he has to offer me in my hard knock life situation) "Hmmm, yes I remember difficult times like that, having to sleep in my car. Well, good luck!" (A smile, a tip of his imaginary hat, and off he goes).

Me: (Am I dressed badly today? What a jerk! And I didn't even get a dollar!)

Angelica the Celica: "Vaccuuuuum meeee, clean me out, pleeease"




Well, the good news is, now I don't have to clean her out as she is on the way to the scrap metal shop! Crunch!